“She showed me what family means”: Milena’s inspiring story of adoption from a Moldovan institution
10.12.2025
Last year, Irina proudly walked her adoptive daughter, Milena, down the aisle. The journey to that beautiful moment had not been easy for either of them, both shaped by their experiences with child institutions.
Milena was just five years old when she was first placed in an institution in Moldova. She had returned home from the park after playing with her cousin when strangers put her in a black car without explanation and drove her to an institution in her home country of Ukraine.
No one told her that her mother had died, or that the austere building, packed with around 600 children, was to be her new home.
I didn’t understand where I was, why I was there, where my mother was, or where my freedom had gone. On the first day, I just sat on the stairs watching the other children, crying and calling for my mother, who never came.
– Milena
Pictured: Milena as a child.
Around 5.4 million children globally live in institutions. The reasons for them being there can vary – parents who are so poor they feel unable to afford to look after their children, societal stigma if a child has a disability, or conflict, causing families to be separated. In Milena’s case, her mum had died, her father was unknown, and her relatives were unable to take care of her.
I missed out on love, attention, care, and, of course, parents. The hardest and most painful part was realising that I was alone, that I was abandoned by my loved ones – my family.
-Milena
She says life in the institution was like a ‘cold prison.’ The children followed a robotic, unchanging routine, had no belongings of their own, and fights often broke out.
We didn’t deserve that treatment – we didn’t choose to be in an institution or abandoned. When you live in an institution, you miss freedom, privacy and the opportunity of normal communication. You don’t see anything outside the institution walls.
-Milena
But everything changed for Milena when she was moved to an institution in Moldova and adopted by Irina, who was working there in a senior position.
Milena was soon part of a large extended family of cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. She finally enjoyed the things many of us take for granted, such as having clothes and toys of her own, and family holidays. But it took time for her to adjust, especially being in a mainstream school.
Pictured: Irina and Milena (centre) with Irina and her parents.
“When I first saw so many children, it reminded me of being in the institution, and I was afraid I was going to be put back there,” Milena says.
Every day at school, I was crying and felt frightened about being left there alone. But my grandmother waited outside the classroom, and after each lesson I would run outside to check she was still there. This went on for quite a long time until I understood that no one would leave me.
-Milena
Irina joined Lumos in 2009, having previously worked at the orphanage for children up to the age of six. “To be honest, I was not that comfortable taking that job [at the orphanage]. All the children were waiting for someone to come and take them home – they just wanted to be in families,” said Irina.
In time, and with support from Irina and her family, Milena started to thrive at school and built strong bonds with her new family. She says the most wonderful things about living in a family were learning with her grandparents, playing outside with other children, and receiving care, love and protection.
Mum gave me a lot of love, attention, and affection that filled my heart. She showed me what family means, how we can support each other, and how we treat one another with respect.
-Milena
Pictured: Irina and Milena.
Milena, now 27, is married and working as a Laboratory Assistant. She has a very close bond with her family and is determined to help raise awareness of what life is really like for children living in institutions, its long-term effects and how transformative family-based care can be.
She says: “I cannot even imagine what would have happened with my life in case if I had stayed in the institution for all my life. Life there felt more about surviving than living. I wouldn’t have had the same freedom to choose, to make mistakes, and to learn from them, and I wouldn’t have had the courage, confidence and support to follow my dreams.”
This story is part of the Lumos Home for the Holidays Appeal series. Join our annual appeal so we can give more children the greatest gift of all this holiday season, a safe and loving family.
